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Lines worth Remembering

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Non-fiction

The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord: Part II

Part II: Her Lover

“Passion can bind us and mislead us. It can blind our senses and cause us not to realize that a relationship is in trouble or, worse, dangerous to our emotional and spiritual health.”

 

“True love is stronger than that (change) and can withstand the passage of time. In fact, true love is like a wine, growing sweeter as it ages.”

 

“When we stand before a congregation, a preacher, and God, we make vows in a few minutes that we may keep for the next fifty years or more. We make those vows and walk into the future, an abyss of unexpected adventure that can lead to peril without warning.”

 

“We all want someone we can count on to stand by us through thick or thin. This is the lover who matters.”

 

“…the truth of the matter is a good lover doesn’t start or end in the bedroom. A good lover is the one who stays when all others have walked away.”

 

“If he does not love you with his heart, stroking your body and teasing your senses will soon be meaningless.”

 

“Oh, my friend, being a lover is more than hips, lips, and fingertips. It is the ability to hold the cold wind of life in your hot hands until the wind warms under your loving touch.”

 

“Some people have persona scars that are so deep they find it difficult to adhere to God’s plan.”

 

“God’s plan is perfect. It is His creatures that are not.”

 

“The word of God should be our map. We need to follow it, but if we get lost, we should remember that throwing the map away won’t help us find our way home.”

 

“Marriage is meant to be forever, and the only way for a relationship to survive the uncertainty of the future and the inevitable ups and downs of love is if true love is its foundation.”

 

“Young love is like springtime – everything is fresh and new.”

 

“It is the friendship that makes a marriage worth fighting for.”

 

“…fulfilling the needs of the heart is an on-going process.”

 

“What makes a lover wonderful is when he can kiss the body and reach down deeper to kiss the soul.”

 

“I am suggesting that the root of your love be anchored in your admiration for the person; then add the attraction like spice to a favourite dish. The spice accentuates the dish, but it does not become the dish.”

“As a Christian, you should choose someone who is governed by the same values as you. If you don’t, you will never agree. It helps so much when couples have the same faith and philosophy of living.”

 

“Your partner must satisfy your body, mind, and soul.”
“You and your partner should be of like mind, able to talk, listen, and simply enjoy each other’s company. Finally, you should share similar values. You will walk together down the path of life, share the same map, and follow the same direction.”

 

“…look for the man who is as related to you as a brother. Look for the one whom you can communicate without words.”

 

“He knows what is in your heart because it is in his too.”

 

“Undoubtedly you will face challenges and problems in life, but you will seek solutions in the same place. You will both turn to your Father.”

 

“…the same God he calls Father she calls Father also.”

 

“A healthy relationship has diversity. It continually changes. The one thing that gives it stability is that the relationship is built on friendship.”

 

“It is simply this: sex is a mere shadow of love. True intimacy occurs when the body is spent and the affection continues. It is the bonding of hearts that gives the feeling of acceptance, not the tangling of the flesh.”

 

“Men and women are different creatures with different needs. Neither viewpoint is better than the other; neither is more right. They’re just different.”

 

“Marriage is not for heaven; it is for earth.”

 

“Christian marriage is the coupling of two people who have agreed about who they are to each other and who they are in relationship to God.”

 

“In a marriage, a man and wife are partners, lovers, and friends. It is a bond so powerful, so special, that it is meant to last forever.”

 

“We must remember that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Let’s not permit ourselves to walk away from a wonderful relationship just because it’s not working exactly as planned.”

 

“Not only can the right lady allow a man to rest, she can make a man feel comfortable doing it. He can trust her and let down his guard.”

 

“The male heart is generally guarded and locked down with intense security.”

 

“Trust is the root from which love is nourished.”

 

Several areas essential for a man to feel whole and fulfilled:

  1. He needs to trust her motives.

“Preserve the trust; a relationship cannot last without it.”

  1. He needs to be able to trust her sexually.

“He needs to know that her response is not created for entertainment.”

  1. He needs to trust her not to change.

“The changing woman terrifies him. He lives in fear that she will change on him in the middle of a crisis.”

“He can deal with what he understands. It is what he doesn’t understand that destroys trust.”

“A man can physically be with a woman but have moved away from her emotionally.”

  1. He needs to trust her not to use his openness against him later.

“A loving nod, a touch, a few words, and a kiss are the most effective response. If you want to establish trust, just listen to him.”

  1. He needs to trust her not to be in competition with him.

“Real love always builds up the other person.”

 

“A marriage is a collaboration of two hearts that join together to overcome the obstacles of life and create an atmosphere of shared pleasure and deeper love.”

“…whatever it takes, make it happen for both of you.”

 

“The injury can be healed, but saying ‘I’m sorry’ is not always enough.”

 

“A woman needs to understand the effect her words  have on a man’s performance; her words can motivate or disintegrate his self-esteem.”

 

“The man flees from contention but draws strength from the woman who encourages him and affirms him.”

 

“Calm spirits create trust and tranquillity.”

 

“More people are hurt by a tongue out of control than by a gun.”

 

“It is the people who love you and want to be with you who are most likely to become assaulted by your words.”

 

“When you speak, the sound of your voice should stir passion in your mate and not be associated with pain.”

 

“Men deeply appreciate a woman who is full of kind words.”

 

“Resolve conflict, but do not abuse each other with words.”

 

“Use your words to share your dreams and needs and your lover what he wants.”

 

“Without communication, your relationship will surely die, and with it the promise of love and comfort for all your days on earth.”

 

“Your hands and eyes can often send louder messages if they’re used the right way.”

 

“Trust is a major area of concern for both parties.”

 

“The unique thing about men is that most of them have the ability to be sexually intimate and still remain emotionally distant.”

 

“No matter how justified the conflict may be between the mother and the father, the child should never have to hear his mother speak evil of his father.”

 

“Love is not a monologue; it is a dialogue.”

 

“Most men do not associate the giving of their body with the giving of their heart, but women tend to tie the two together.”

 

“If she doesn’t value herself, why should they?”

 

“…whether we admit it or not, we all have done foolish things that did not reflect our real heart and values.”

 

“How do you handle mercy when you feel justified to condemn?”

 

“She will not speak ill of him nor agree with his enemies in public. She is on his side.”

 

“Praise him when he’s worthy, and forgive him when he’s not.”

 

“Both men and women should realize that it doesn’t matter who has what individually; it is the sum of the parts that makes for a strong marriage.”

 

“…go beyond biological likeness and identify psychological and spiritual likeness. For if you don’t, you will find yourself attached to a frog, and you will spend all of your life trying to make him a prince.”

 

“Never involve yourself with someone and think you are going to change them. Trust me, people seldom change, and if they do, it is only with God doing the changing.”

 

“She will not stoop to looking for love.”

 

“If you have a problem, voice it, but do not allow your presence to become a discomfort.”

 

“With every sunrise, recognize the light of God shining down on you. Know that He has watched over you through the night. He cares for you and baptizes you in the new day.”

 

“The morning is a time of healing. It is a new day, a second chance, a fresh start.”

The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord: Part One

I didn’t know much about the book and its author, Bishop T.D. Jakes, before I got my hands on it. It was lent to me by a dear woman which I fondly call “Mommey.” Mommey has not just been a friend and a colleague, she has been, since August last year, my mentor who has been helping me as I journey towards knowing myself and God more. This book she leant me because she felt that it would bless me, and on this she truly is right. Page after page offered words which have blessed me and has put so many things and questions in the right perspective – in God’s perspective

So, I’m sharing the lines which I have marked on the book either because it is true to me or because it has taught me something new or has made me rethink things.

May you be blessed as I have been blessed by the book and the message and truth it brings…

P.S.

Although the book, as suggested by its title, appeals more to the ladies, men can also learn valuable things from it and is actually addressed in it, too…

 

Part 1: The Lady

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“You must know that sometimes rejection is a blessing and not a curse.”

 

“Sometimes God delays relationships to give you a chance to heal as an individual.”

 

“While you are single, if you do not spend time finding wholeness and learning the art of being happy alone, you will marry out of fear and then years later awaken out of the comatose state of low self-esteem, only to recognize that you are a valuable entity whether there is a man around you or not.”

 

“It is the uncertainty of the future that causes the heart of men to seek a God who can see where men’s frail eyes are too weak to venture.”

 

“The lines etched in her childhood will draw the wrinkles of her old age.”

 

“Somewhere, beneath all of our other goals, is the desire for someone to be our absolute, best, cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die friend.”

 

“What we call as intimacy as adults is really allowing some other adult the privilege to see the child we hide in adult flesh.”

 

“It is dangerous to allow others to know you better than yourself. Remember that knowledge is power!”

 

“It is the relationship with the manufacturer that gives you comfort in a crisis.”

 

“You can learn the dance steps and listen to the music, but if you don’t know you partner’s moves, you might as well be dancing alone.”

 

“But it is the quest to discover the self that drives one into the need to know Him, for only through God can we know all that we are.”

 

“How can you know the adult I am until you have touched the child I was?”

 

“Perched behind an older frame lies a child who is still the same.”

 

“The child in you needs to know your Father!”

 

“You are safe from pain, safe from anyone hurting you, but you are alone, empty and untouched… You are quarantined by pain and alienated by secret struggles.”

 

“It isn’t always that there is no one reaching after you. It may be that there are so many layers to unwrap that they are touching only the outer surface of the covering you have hidden in for years.”

 

“No one can change their yesterdays, no matter how terrible they may have been. Update your life. This is now, not then.”

 

“Fulfilment is not always a matter of income. It means a lot when you can lie down at night and know that what you did today made a difference is someone’s life.”

 

“That same spot where you cry and moan is where you can bring honor and healing to those who are touched with the same pain.”

 

“Wouldn’t it be great to enter into a relationship without being so thirsty for love that you couldn’t trust your own discernment?”

 

“You can know the woman you hold, only when you have touched the child she was.”

 

“Christ is not just the God of the welfare mother. He is the God of everyone – rich and poor alike.”

 

“It’s about the woman’s destiny, not her origin.”

 

“A woman of excellence knows what she deserves and will work tirelessly to attain it. Do not be discouraged if you have failed or fallen in the past. Excellence is not based on past performance. It is a title given to someone who persisted and rose above her calamities.”

 

“It is the memory of where she was that gives her the strength to arise and keep driving.”

 

“You can suppress who you are but you cannot change who you are.”

 

“You will never fulfil your destiny dressed in someone else’s clothes.”

 

“Liberation begins when you are free to be yourself and recognize that the strength of the woman is different but no lesser than the strength of a man.”

 

“Women can go further and achieve more and still be feminine.”

 

“But beneath the straight-lined suits and hard-as-nails exterior, can you hear the cried within the hearts of many women who wish life would afford them, once again, the luxury of being pampered by gentlemen who think them far too exquisite to be exposed to rowdy conversations and boisterous communications?”

 

“But the Bible warns her to submit through marriage to one man, and not because of his gender, but because of his position of covering and protection… She should accept the invitation only when she feels she has found the one who has the capacity to love as Christ loved the church.”

 

“Though she was created last, she was in no way an afterthought.”

 

“Love is far better with His approval than it would ever be without it.”

 

“It never works when a woman marries a man thinking that her presence is required to mend him. If he is broken when she meets him, he will not be fixed when she marries him.”

 

“We know we need to talk, but what we do not know is that men and women speak in different tongues.”

 

“It cannot be done without prayer. It cannot be done without God. Perhaps that is how he meant for life to be: completely unattainable without Him. Perhaps He knew that if we could successfully navigate it without Him, we would become so engrossed in what He gave us that we would eventually forget the one who gave it to us in the first place.”

 

“If your cup is overflowing, ask Him to be your saucer and catch what you are letting slip.”

 

“It is important that you say to Him, “Lord, I need you!”

 

“You must not become such a workhorse that you cease to be a person.”

 

“God sets boundaries for the sea, so you know He sets boundaries for you as His daughters.”

 

“…all those roles are things you do, not who you are.”

 

“Do not become angry or disappointed because those around you continue to place more and more weight on you. It is your responsibility to say when you have had enough.”

 

“It is helpful to direct those you love to an endless source rather than being that endless source.”

 

“The Godly woman is a star. She is a star that will shine in the night.”

 

“But you must make a fresh start and see yourself as special. If you do not, history will just repeat itself.”

 

“It is my prayer that your past does not harden you.”

 

“Do not allow them to rob you of the gleam in your eye and the hope in your heart.”

 

“No one can pump life through a broken heart.”

 

“Life is still worth living to all who believe.”

 

“Initially you may have to protect your heart and plant your trust and hope in God.”

 

“Hide your heart in Him.”

 

“Guard your heart but do not hide your face. God is not through with you. He has a plan for you.”

 

“He had a specific role that only you can play. Refuse to forfeit His plan just because of yoru pain.”

 

“For homes cannot be bought; they must be created.”

 

“It is dangerous to receive counsel from the wrong people.”

 

“Somewhere in your life, someone said hurtful things that got lodged in your spirit. I tell you again, turn to the word of God.”

 

“It is in the crises of life that a lady herself begins to realize the magnitude of her own creativity.”

 

“If you do not know what you have, you will not know when you lose it.”

 

“One of the worst things a man can be is lazy.”

 

“We must remember that when we try to satisfy ourselves in a way that is forbidden by God, in the end we only do ourselves harm.”

 

“Let your eyes help you see, but don’t let externals blind you.”

 

“Being appreciated is about gratitude and worth. Acknowledgment is a standing ovation,a  pat on the back, strokes to the ego.”

 

“Wanting acknowledgment is not bad in and of itself. But when in guides your actions, when it becomes a substitute for acting from the heart, you can make some very wring decisions.”

 

“Keep up the good work, but be careful that your pride doesn’t make you fall.”

 

“Be careful whom you allow to touch your life, for you are holy and  a treasure beyond compare.”

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